Have you been through a traumatic experience? If so, how you look at the experience is your trauma narrative. It’s how you see and tell your story of your trauma. This doesn’t necessarily mean that your narrative will be a complete story, that you have ever said it out loud, or that you are even aware of your narrative, however. Yet, whether traumatic or not, we all frame our experiences into a contextual format as we are able to recall it.
Here are five ways to both identify your trauma narrative and to reframe it:
1) Notice
Becoming aware of your trauma narrative may be especially difficult when portions of it have yet to be processed effectively through to resolution, as the therapy treatments of Brainspotting and EMDR can help one to do. While these portions may still be too painful to think about, too emotional to let yourself feel, or simply too overwhelming to consider, noticing the story you already tell yourself about it and reflecting on whether what you are thinking and saying to yourself as a result is true or skewed can be the first step. For example, if a child was bullied for being “ugly.” The child might grow into an adult who has never challenged that notion, always feeling less than in the looks department. However, in reality, when looking back on photos from that time, the adult self of that child can actually see how cute she was and knows that sometimes kids say things out of jealousy or even because they have a crush on someone. This awareness of the natural inherent trauma narrative, combined with intentional reflection and truth telling becomes the new lens through which the trauma is viewed. This perspective shift indicates a measure of healing.
2) Contain
As with many fragile situations, noticing an existing trauma narrative and reframing it to be more helpful to you must be handled with delicacy and the utmost care. If approached in a way that invokes too much too soon, the trauma may cause flooding and dissociation. Only attempt to identify and reframe your trauma narrative to the extent that you can stay grounded to the present moment without becoming too overwhelmed. The purpose of the narrative work is to help you to organize your thoughts and memories. Work at your own pace and take your time.
3) Keep Moving Forward
As you do let your thoughts and feelings come out, there may be parts of your narrative that are harder to talk about than others. Remember that your perseverance here will help prevent you from feeling this pain in more abstract and oppressive forms later. Talk through the toughest parts which you feel are safe to approach with a trusted friend, therapist, or mentor, or write it out in a journal. While still at your discretion for your own sense of privacy, try to say the things that you don’t want to say–the big stuff, small stuff–anything that is sticking out in your mind. You’ll be glad that you did.
4) Reframing and Recontextualizing
In traumatic narratives and memories, context is everything.
A big part of forming a narrative is placing that trauma in the past. Clearly stating things like, “I was in a car wreck,” “I was attacked,” or “I was fighting overseas” can help your mind to reframe these traumatic circumstances as something that is over now. Traumatic events flood the brain with a ton of sensory information all at once, making it very hard to process effectively. This is why reframing your narratives as something of the past which you survived is crucial.
Another major thing to consider reframing in your trauma narrative is the matter of who’s to blame. For instance, if your trauma stems from a form of abuse, you may have been made to feel like you were the problem. This can, unfortunately, be reinforced by other sources in your life.
Let’s take a domestic abuse situation for example. If the one abused thinks, “I made them mad because I didn’t agree with them. It’s my fault they flew off the handle and hit me,” the blame is taken on by the victim and not the perpetrator, where it belongs. Reframing this might sound more like, “I wasn’t provoking them! Even if I was, it still didn’t give them the right
5) Seek Help
One of the most important steps is to find the right kind of help for you. Whether you choose to speak to a trusted friend, seek out a mental health therapist, or even journal silently to yourself to sort through your jumbled thoughts and feelings, noticing your experience and feelings through a compassionate lens will help.
If you are suffering from the effects of past trauma, such as stress, depression, and anxiety, Omaha Trauma Therapy is here to help! EMDR and Brainspotting therapy techniques are our specialty. We want to provide you with a holistic approach to overcome your trauma. Contact us.