Have you ever wished you could just stay in bed and pull the covers over your head? From time to time, we all feel like hiding away from the world, because the world can seem too overwhelming. It can feel too confusing and stressful to have to interact with others and hope they like you or to try out new adventures when you can’t predict how things will go. We wonder if we’ll be safe, hurt, embarrassed, and the list goes on and on. This can make that blanket fort seem like a great idea, right? Yet, if you would like to better manage your social anxiety so that you can move out of your comfort zone and experience new things and meet new friends, there are some things you can do.
Enlist Support
If you have a family member, mentor, or friend who can encourage you or even go with you as you step into new social situations, you will have more than just your own will-power to make it through. If you don’t have someone to serve as your cheerleader, you can promise yourself a treat of some sort after taking a step forward or take a comforting object with you in your pocket to touch when you get nervous or anxious as a supportive distraction.
Start With One Thing
You don’t have to accomplish everything you’ve been avoiding all at once. Evaluate the things that you’d like to try to do, and then, identify one small thing that you will do towards it. For instance, make one phone call, go to one new place, or meet one new person. One thing at a time, done repeatedly, makes a pattern. Start your new habit toward freedom from social anxiety one thing at a time!
Find One Person
Sometimes, it can be scary to have to go somewhere alone or to be by yourself in a crowd where other people already know each other. If making friends is difficult for you, remember that you only need to find one nice person to be your friend. Then, you aren’t alone anymore! If you do this each time you try a new activity, you will end up with more friends and feel more comfortable with others before you know it. You can also take this approach and invite one person you think you could feel comfortable enough with to meet up over coffee or tea. If you have to, let the person know that this is new and hard for you so that they can support your needs. Then, if you need to leave after a bit of time, they will understand.
Take One Step Forward
You may have chosen an activity or a potential new friend, but what if you aren’t to the place where you feel you can go to the activity or try to reach out? Mentally rehearse what it would take to get to your desired end goal and take one step toward it. For instance, if you want to ask someone out on a date, start by finding their phone number one day, program it into your phone the next, rehearse giving your opening line the day after that, and finally, make the call.
Regroup and Reflect
After you take your first steps out of your comfort zone, take time to reflect on what went well and what you want to change for next time. Then, start again with another first step! Practicing effective stress management by coping with your anxiety one step at a time will reduce your nervousness and move you closer to the life you long to live.
If you need help to manage your social anxiety or to step out of your comfort zone, we here at Omaha Trauma Therapy would love to help you reach your goals. We specialize in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), Brainspotting, and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) techniques, which can help you move forward! Contact us.